Dear New Nemesis

Oct 16

Dear Blog Designer,

Ice-Dancer says that recreating a customized font that was never released commercially as a Christmas present for your significant other is true romance. My communication breakdowns and new disdain for you aside, I haven’t had a moment to actually finish all of the characters in the font family. So I guess it’s not true romance. I suppose that justifies not receiving anything last Christmas. Instead of providing a sample specimen of what I was making, I wanted to turn your attention to something that actually is commercially available. It’s an old ITC one. It will suffice as a serif. It’s just as compact as the one you were bugging me to find, but I like the black weight more in this one. Attached, a sample specimen with suitable characters to present.

Sincerely,

28

Oct 15

Dear Subpar Mexican Restaurant Server / Owner,

As you are now well aware, I have a soft spot for your culture. More so, I have a pretty deep-rooted curiosity with the cuisine from the particular region that you are from. You know this. Chances are you know that I do not come back for the subpar cuisine. That said, please do not ask me if I like your iPod playlist while it is playing that Selena Gomez song. Especially after it followed a song by D’Angelo. That’s a fucking trick and just wrong. My heart will melt and I will have to continue to eat horrible sizzling, shrimp tacos for the remainder of the Autumn. Although not entirely horrible, there’s better Mexican (food) out there. Although you guys do have neon lights in that backroom…..

See you next Wednesday,

28

Oct 14

Dear Darling Roommates,

What can I do to stop you both from ever referring to yourselves as “daddy” again until some girls squeeze out your babies? Fake british accents and slap bass are a million times more acceptable.

No babies = no daddies.

Thank you for your urgent attention to this issue.

Best,

NN

Oct 13

Thanks Special Agent Dale Cooper,

This must be why I say so many dumb things to people who shouldn’t hear them.

Oh, brother…

Oct 12

Me too, Paris-from-Gilmore-Girls, me too.

Anonymous asked: why hasn't this been updated?

you read this psycho-babble?

Oct 11

To the Jagweed downstairs:

You know what sucks? Waiting 30 minutes for you to muster the energy to take your laundry out of the dryer. Your apartment is connected to the laundry room. Why is this hard? Was I waiting? Oh, no, just love hanging out, sitting on the washing machine. And I totes get it: Sunday night football, brah.

Oh, and playing your American flag acoustic guitar on the stoop? Classy touch, dawg…you’re really rocking it.

(Seriously, I’m not sure how you are a real person, but I’m hoping you move out of my building ASAP so I can avoid the displeasure of crossing paths with you when I get the mail.)

Best,

Your Neighbor, NN

Oct 10

our girl’s gonna be (is) a star!

dailyfrenchie:

Submission!

Lulu is 12 and she is an old frenchie lady.

By Maddie

Anonymous asked: If you don't like the L train, then move.

if you don’t like hearing me complain, then read a different blog.

Oct 4

“i’m sorry….has he been reading Catcher in the Rye again?
did he suddenly decide that he would like to be as annoying and unpopular as J.D. Salinger?
would he like to suck my dick?
bc these are all things that i suspect”

Wise words from Larry, my colocataire at Spinster Castle.

Dear New Nemesis

The rocky road from frenemies to nemeses.